Over the Grief
by Daisy1966
Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship. Can they get over the past hurt and move on? DL. Flack and the rest of the team as cameo appearance.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship.<strong> **Can they get over the past hurt and move on?**

A/N: Hi, everyone! I'm a Japanese fan of Danny&Lindsay from CSI:NY. This is my first fanfiction and probably would be the last one. I was so frustrated after watching 'Right Next Door', so I decided to write a story about this season. So this story takes place somewhere around 'Personal Foul' and it's probably going to be a little dark. I'm sure there are a lot of spelling and grammatical mistakes, because English is not my first language, so please forgive me. This story is supposed to be made up of nine chapters. I hope you enjoy this even only a little.

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><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 1・**

**＜THE PRESENT ＞**

It was a piercing cold rainy night of late autumn. She was lost deeply in her thoughts, staring at the night view of New York City from the window of their apartment. The city was shrouded in misty rain, puddles here and there on the streets that reflected many colorful city lights and illuminations and added more beauty to this. Thunders were heard rolling in the distance from time to time. The sound of incessantly falling rain forced her to be reminded of the night she was taking a rain walk around a year ago.

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><p><strong>＜A YEAR AGO＞<strong>

She herself wasn't sure why she was walking soaking wet with the rain, but strangely she found it comforting. Feeling as if this rain could wash away all the heart-wrenching things that had happened over the past few weeks, she wandered aimlessly with nowhere to go.

After having a little talk with him on the phone, her legs were heading for his place without knowing it.

"_How about coming over here and telling me in person? Please._" his voice had pleaded with her.

She had no intention of visiting him, nor was she going to talk to him. Of course, she knew deep down inside she wished to see him. Her inner voice whispered her to be true to herself, talk to him, and she couldn't simply deny it. She couldn't possibly wipe it all away, and no matter how hard she tried she was unable to deny it or avoid him. Feverishly trying not to listen to her internal voice, she turned around and quickened her pace to her apartment after hanging up on him.

There were a thousand questions rolling her head she wanted to ask him: _"Why did you push me away while you were going through the pains? W__asn't I good enough for you? __Why did you do what you had done to me? __Do you have feelings for that woman?"_

Sure he said he just wanted to hang out with her, but nonetheless she didn't take his word for it because she sensed more in his words and behavior toward her.

He had never told her he wanted to be together with her nor had he said he loved her. But she didn't care, after all she loved him heart and soul. Though she was unsure if the feelings were mutual, she had believed that he had at least cared about her. She had no doubt that he wanted to take their time to develop a relationship with her - one step at a time.

_"I love you."_

She couldn't have been happier to hear these three words from him at some point when he wanted to and was ready for it. She had believed there was something more than a word '_love_' between them.

But now that things have come to this pass, she might have just wanted to believed that. She alone might have thought that they were connected deep within the heart. He might have only wanted to hang out with her. If she had mattered to him, he wouldn't have done what he had did.

He had never loved her. Or even if he had loved her, his love might have been transferred to that woman. That's why he might have turned to another woman for sharing his grief when he had needed comfort. If so, why hadn't he said goodbye to her before breaking down her completely?

_"I have fallen in love with someone else."_

It wouldn't have changed the fact that she would be hurt deeply. Still, it would have been a lot better than to be cheated on like this.

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><p>Since when had she been falling in love with him? He had been teasing her, called her 'Montana' since the first day they met. At first she didn't have a good impression on him, but she felt herself irresistible to his attraction as she came to realize he had an entirely different interior from his tough-guy appearance; he was compassionate, gentle and sensitive. Before she realized it her heart had already been filled with him, and with each passing day - heck, with each passing hour - the feeling grew larger. Danny, who had cared about her, had always tried to be there for her more than anyone else. Sure, she had had some boyfriends in the past, yet none of them had cared about her in a way Danny did. Ever since her friends had been murdered she had lived telling herself she wouldn't deserve to be happy, would never dream of the future. It was Danny who had changed such her way of thinking. At the sight of him appearing through the door of the courtroom, she felt like time itself had stopped and only they existed in this world. It was then that her insure feeling for him changed into the conscious awareness that she loved him. Feeling his warmth through their entwined hands, she felt the looming wall built up around her break down, felt herself trust him and open up fully to him. That's because she hadn't expected his betrayal in that way. She had known a sensitive and vulnerable side of Danny, including which she loved him. That's why she understood his feelings of hurt, guilty of Ruben's death, and respected his wish of leaving him alone. But...she had never thought he was capable of infidelity. Him cheating on her was the last thing she had expected from him.<p>

Even if there was nothing she could do to help him out of the pain, she couldn't simply pass him by. She couldn't pretend not to see him tortured. She couldn't bear to watch him go through his pain all on his own. She desperately wanted to be there for him, so she tried every imaginable way to help him out of his pain. Yet he shut her out and pushed her away, never to open up to her and let her in. If he had, she would have done everything she could do. Anything for _him_. She wouldn't have minded making any sacrifice for him, would have been willing to share his pain by taking his hands in hers, holding him in a tight embrace or shedding tears together. She wouldn't have hesitated to give him everything she had, her heart, body and soul. Even though she had never told him, she loved him with all her might.

But he didn't need her comfort, nor did he want her to be there for him. Instead, he had turned to another woman for comfort, which cut her deeply. He didn't say anything about it, but she knew. She knew it the moment she talked with him on the phone the next morning after Stella's apartment caught fire. His tone of voice told her everything that he had done. And it shuttered her heart brutally.

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Feedback is always welcome and more than appreciated.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship.<strong> **Can they get over the past hurt and move on?**

A/N: Hello, everyone! Wow, thank you so much to those who read the first chapter and added my story to their Favorite Stories list.  
>And huge thank you to those who left sweet and thoughtful reviews for me!; <em>afrozenheart412, webdlfan, Brinchen86, rhymenocerous, CTI-Jenn.<em> _Julia, ioanhoratio_.  
>I can't find any words to thank you enough! You guys actually brought happy tears into my eyes.<br>And special thanks to _dl-shipper34_ for checking out this chapter before posting.  
>Here is another chapter for you. I hope you enjoy this.<p>

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><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 2・**

The day she confessed him that she had fallen in love with him was also the day she swore to herself she would figure out how to let that go.

She lost a tiny life conceived inside her on the very same day she confessed her love for him. A few days after that, Danny was thrust that fact by Flack. The reason Flack had known about her miscarriage was that it was him who was there when she lost her baby.

It was obvious to everyone that her face has been shining more brightly than before the trial in Montana. Flack knew it was Danny who had brought a shining smile back to her. The tension of nervousness between her and Danny had disappeared ever since they had returned to New York. Warm air always seemed to linger around the two. In the lab they smiled lovingly at each other, exchanging glances from time to time. Flack secretly couldn't help but smile at the sight. But soon after the boy living right down the hallway from Danny was murdered, Flack had sensed that something had happened between him and Lindsay. She seemed to continuously lose weight day after day, and it killed Flack.

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><p>On the day she sensed Danny's betrayal her usually pale face registered sorrow. She was about to leave the lab when Flack managed to catch up with her. "Hey, Lindsay! You finished your shift?" He asked, panting from his brief run.<p>

"Yeah...what's wrong, Don? You look out of breath. You all right?" she asked worriedly.

Flack tried to sound casually as best he could. "Yeah yeah, I'm completely fine. Do you have any plans after this?"

"No. I'm going home now. You?" She narrowed her pupils, not knowing why Flack would ask such a question.

"I'm done my shift too, so can I drive you home?"

She raised a cautious eyebrow, suddenly wondering why Flack was offering to give her a ride. "Why?"

"Lindsay...I'm worried sick about you. If there is anything I can do for you, tell me."

"Thank you, but I'm fine, " she reassured him, avoiding any possible eye contact.

"Lindsay, you need someone to talk to," he said gently, trying to soften her closed heart.

"Don, I really appreciate your offer and worrying about me, but I think I need to be alone right now."

Upon seeing her determined look, Flack realized he couldn't push her further and had no choice but to nod at her words. He released a deep breath that had suddenly welled up in his chest and said, "I got it. But just do me a favor, at least let me take you home."

He couldn't leave her alone, nor could he pretend not to see her so despondent any more. Ignoring her hesitance intentionally, Flack grabbed her hand to lead her to his car.

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><p>They had barely entered her apartment when she felt a sharp twang in her stomach. As they made their way over to the living room it grew more intense, and her hands began to shake uncontrollably. It became more and more unbearable, and she moaned in pain as she turned around and tried to call Flack's name. The world around her began to shake. The corners of her vision turned black, the pain making it difficult for her to breathe, and her entire body writhed in agony.<p>

"Do...n..." She fell to the floor, groaning and in tears, before she could reach out to Flack.

"Lindsay?" He looked in shock as she lay, face down. A considerable amount of crimson liquid was now seeping out from underneath her body. "Oh God."

The terrible sight - one minute she had been fine, the next sprawled out in her own blood - was enough to leave Flack speechless. For a moment he stood there as if totally paralyzed, not comprehending what his eyes had just witnessed. Within seconds reality hit him like a ton of bricks and he quickly knelt down beside her, turned her onto her back and holding her in his arms.

"Lindsay? Lindsay!" he cried out in sheer desperation.

The only thing that replied was silence.

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><p>The ambulance arrived shortly after Flack called 911. She was rushed to the hospital, only to find that it was too late. Lindsay, who had regained consciousness in the hospital bed the next morning, was told by the doctor she had lost her unborn child due to great stress and shock. His words were like rubbing salt in her already bleeding wounds. But she didn't cry. Overwhelmed by too much grief to shed tears, she had difficulty in accepting her current situation.<p>

It was the last straw when she realized this was not just a bad dream but a reality. She could no longer keep what she had in mind all to herself. After being released from the hospital, she relayed Flack everything what had happened between her and Danny.

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><p><em>When she found out she was pregnant, she was at a loss whether to tell Danny about it. Danny, who blamed himself for letting the boy lose his life, couldn't accept that he was having his own child. This was probably the last thing he wanted right now. She was worried how he would react to the life-changing news.<em>

_"I can't be a father."_

_With those words, he might walk away from her, pushing her farther and farther away into what constantly felt like a dark oblivion. The mere thought of it terrified her. Yet, even if Danny wouldn't accept it willingly, he had the right to know the truth. After considering it for hours on end, she finally resolved herself firmly before heading for his apartment - hoping that he would at least listen to her._

_The door opened a little from the inside and his face peeped out. The moment he realized who it was standing there, he seemed a little surprised and upset. Lindsay could feel her stomach churn as she watched him running his fingertips through his messy hair. Having no idea what to expect from him, she wanted to turn back and run away._

_"Hi," she finally broke the silence, offering him a nervous smile._

_"Hey," he said wearily._

_"I...I know you don't want to talk right now, Danny, but I have something important to tell you."_

_"Lindsay...I...Look, I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone now, so..."_

_"I know. I know that, Danny, but..." her voice trailed off._

_"Lindsay...please. Not now."_

_"Danny..."_

_"Well, you know, I have told you I don't wanna talk about anything right now, so just do me a favor, leave me alone. Please!" Trying to avoid her eyes, he shut the door coldly._

_Despite being shocked at his dagger-like words and behavior, she didn't want him to witness her shedding tears. Pressing her lips together in a desperate attempt to hold back the sobs that were welling up from inside her throat, she did nothing but nod silently. Looking over her shoulder at the closed door once more, she left without saying a word. _

_After that day it was painful for her to have to see him at work, but nonetheless she didn't force him to talk to her. She didn't want to push too far; she just gave him his space as he had asked her to. She didn't have the slightest intention of blaming him for it, because she understood his feelings of guilt only too well. She could feel his sorrow as if they were like her own, and especially because she loved him from her heart. That was why she behaved normally and naturally at work as best she could so that she herself wouldn't be his burden._

_But for all that, the more she forced herself to go about like nothing had happened the more loneliness assaulted her on entering her apartment after her shift._ _Her __apartment. The place where she used to spend time with him but now there was no one but her. When she was alone, she couldn't hold back something welling up in her eyes any more. She sat on the couch they'd once cuddled on together for hours on end and sobbed. She sobbed her heart out, holding herself tightly with her arms for the first time in countless weeks._

_Still, she didn't given up hope. She kept on believing the time would come when Danny would need her, share his pain with her. But h__e never needed her. She was not the person he wanted to be there for him. On the contrary, he turned to another woman for comfort, which caused her to miscarriage._

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><p>As he listened to her story, Flack couldn't find any words to offer her the comfort and reassurance that she needed. Pulling her into a tight embrace and softly rubbing her trembling back with the side of his thumb, he swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat. Simply put, he was helpless and could do nothing more than comfort her.<p>

Since the day she lost Danny and their baby at the same time, the sparkle in her eyes had vanished. The brilliant smile had disappeared from her face, and no matter how hard Flack tried he could not make them reappear. Day by day she lost weight and got thinner and thinner, and it cut Flack too deeply to bear to see. No wonder that his anger and indignation was directed at Danny.

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Feedback is always welcome and more than appreciated.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship. Can they get over the past hurt and move on?<strong>

A/N: Hello, everyone! Wow, thank you so much to those who read the second chapter and huge thank you to those who left sweet and thoughtful reviews for me!; _ioanhoratio, Julia, mckenzie, randomTVFan30, brendanakai, Brinchen86, afrozenheart412._  
>I can't thank you enough for taking time to read my story and leave your comments for me. They mean a lot to me and encourage me to finish this story.<br>And special thanks to _dl-shipper34_for checking out this chapter before posting.

I have to apologize to you for not warning you about Lindsay's miscarriage in the previous chapter. If I had hurt anyone's feelings about it or upset them, I'm so sorry.  
>Here is the third chapter for you. In this chapter Lindsay doesn't appear but only Danny and Flack. I hope you enjoy this.<p>

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><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 3・**

When Danny opened the door, he was greeted with a sudden blow to the face that nearly sent him backwards. The tin-like taste of blood told Danny his lips had been cut. Regaining his balance and gingerly touching the fresh wound with the pads of his fingers, Danny's eyes met those of Flack.

"Honestly, I was thinking of punching you more than once until I came here," said Flack bitterly. While he appeared quite calm on the surface, fire was brewing in his belly. The look in his eyes revealed a complicated mix of emotions: anger, indignation, disappointment, and sadness.

"Danny, how long you pity yourself is none of my business. But when it comes to hurting Lindsay, it's absolutely a kind of my business! To me she is an important friend. The best friend I thought to be has hurt another best friend of mine deeply like this! I can't keep my mouth shut anymore! Do you think you have a right to break her heart? You know what, we see various dark sides of people through the crime investigations on a daily basis. Aren't we mad at such crimes as innocent people are hurt unfairly because of selfish reasons? Sure, what you have done to her might not be called a crime, still you aren't free to hurt her like this because it's not a crime. Shouldn't we be living up to morals and conscience? But when we lost them, what would we do? How and why the hell could you have lost your conscience?" The calmness in Flack's voice included his quiet anger at Danny.

Danny neither resisted nor fought back against Flack. Instead, letting out a deep sigh, he replied wearily. "I know...I know what you're saying...Hell no, I didn't until now, but there is a lot of things that...that I understand now."

"Like what?" Flack asked with a suspicious look, not believing a word that was pouring out from Danny's mouth like a leaky faucet.

"...Like I wouldn't see anything. I wouldn't listen to anyone. Now I've realized a lot of things that I didn't before. I was consumed with grief and self-pity, but it was her words that opened my clouded eyes and mind." Danny's gaze drifted off into the distance for a moment, then he turned his eyes back to Flack.

"Her words? What did she say?"

"Uh...well...she actually said because she had fallen in love with me, she had to figure out how to let that go." Closing his eyes, he could see her sad look both in her eyes and face, fighting desperately back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"What? She said she loved you? And what did you answer?" asked Flack in disbelief.

"I...I couldn't say anything."

"Why not? I thought you loved her, too."

"You know I hurt her...deeply. What could I have said? I don't even have any right to say love for her!"

Hell, he couldn't say anything to her. Her words were like a sharp knife slicing into his skin that he could do nothing but stare at the empty space, dumbfounded as if his voice had been trapped in his throat.

He had felt as if the thick fog in front of him had cleared in a flash. The look in her eyes had told him she couldn't bear talking to him any more. Finally he realized what he had done to her as he helplessly watched her moving away from him.

He has been attracted to her since the day they had met. The very moment he saw her in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo, he felt as if a bolt were running through his body. He had never believed "in love at first sight", yet come to think of it, it was nothing other than that. He himself didn't know for sure why he couldn't take his eyes away from her, but he couldn't help but stare at her every chance he got. There was something between them that he had never felt for other women. That's why he was scared of his own feelings for her. As he was more and more certain of his feelings for her, his fear and insecurity grew increasingly larger. He was too scared to admit how he felt for her, yet he couldn't abandon it no matter how hard he denied.

He had flown over to Montana. Wasn't that because he hadn't wanted to leave her alone? Shouldn't he have gone to her in a desperate attempt to protect her, be there for her even if he had nothing to do for her? Shouldn't he have wanted to protect her from everything that would hurt her? For all that, why couldn't he have done what he did to her? It was himself who had broken her heart more brutally than anyone else even though he shouldn't have allowed anything that would hurt her. Wasn't it love that he felt for her? Hell, yes! It was definitely love.

Love. The very word he couldn't tell her because he was too damn scared to even say it. He surely loved her. This he could say in his mind with certainty, even though he had never told her with his words.

But what Flack had told him a moment later had struck him even harder.

"Well, the mistakes you made caused her to lose a little life conceived inside her."

"Whoa...what? You said what?" Danny asked, not quite sure what he had just heard.

"I said she had had a miscarriage." Flack repeated.

"She...was she pregnant? Why...why didn't she tell me?"

"Well, you may not remember but she probably came over here to tell you. Didn't she say she had something important to tell you?"

Danny closed his eyes again. A little over a week ago she had come over to his apartment looking serious. Now that he remembered, she did mention something about important news. But he shut the door coldly in front of her face, not yet ready to discuss about and sharing his pain. _That's it! That's what she was going to say!_

He stood there, eyes now open and frozen with shock. As he watched his colleague, Flack released a deep sigh and spoke again. "Danny, you turned your back on her and didn't even make an attempt to listen. You have no idea how much shock and pain you gave her. Yet she accepted your wish and gave you space without complaining about it or even blaming you. That's because she understands your pain and grief more than anyone else. But you pushed her away, made excuses, told lies one after another, 'till you turned to another woman for comfort. It caused her to miscarriage."

He paused momentarily to study the other man's reaction, then continued."I can't get that image out of my head, Danny. Lindsay on the floor was the most terrifying sight. She was lying in a pool of own blood! I saw the entire scene with my own eyes! Everything! Can you imagine that? Why would I have to see it? Why would I have to see her so broken? Why would I have to see her tear-streaked face, hold tightly her thinner form helplessly? Why the hell was it me and not you? It should have been none other than you who had been there!" Spittle flew from Flack's mouth, his chest heaved with rage, and his eyes began to well with the threat of oncoming tears.

Danny did not even bother to hide his own rivulets. He hesitated to speak, for he was unsure of what answer he would be given."How is she now? Is she okay?"

"She was released from the hospital yesterday and is now stable. I guess she will be able to get back to work in a couple of days." Flack's words calmed his racing pulse, but only briefly. "What the hell is your problem? Shouldn't you have loved her? Your feelings for her were shallow enough to break her heart so easily? Is that all?"

Flack suddenly found his voice rising as his temper increased. "If anyone can understand your grief and pain, it's her. Only her! She's been through survival guilt ever since she saw her friends before her very eyes. Don't you know that? I won't take 'no' for an answer. She gets you more than anyone else. Didn't you think so? Didn't you have the slightest idea of it? That's not the whole story. After her friends were murdered, she had to go through as much as, or even more sufferings than that."

"More sufferings? What do you mean? Tell me the whole story, Flack!"

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Feedback is always welcome and more than appreciated.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship.<strong> **Can they get over the past hurt and move on?**

A/N: Aww, wow! Thank you so much to those who read the third chapter! And huge thank you to those who left sweet and thoughtful reviews for me!; _**ioanhoratio, Julia, rhymenocerous, Brinchen86**._  
>I can't thank you enough for taking time to read my story and leave your comments for me. You made my heart warm and brought happy tears into my eyes! And special thanks to <strong><em>dl-shipper34<em>** for checking out this chapter before posting.

Here is the fourth chapter for you. I hope you enjoy this even only a little.

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><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 4・**

Simply put, "giving up" was not in his vocabulary. He couldn't possibly break up with her and accept what she had told him without any efforts to get her back. He was going to do everything in his power to get her trust and love back. Every time opportunity presented itself, he persisted that he wanted to talk. They _needed_ to talk.

But no matter what he did or how hard he tried, she continually rejected his efforts.

On that rainy night he called her in a frantic attempt to soften her claw-gripped heart. She said that she was taking a rain walk.

The desperation - the _craving_ - of wanting to see her tore at his every muscle, his every fiber.

"The truth is...I miss you. I miss you more than I can say, even if I don't know how to say it." In a frantic effort to tug at her heartstrings, he gently urged her to come over to his apartment.

"I gotta go." She hung up before he could say another word, and his heart immediately sank to the floor.

Like a withering flower, hope was quickly shriveling away. With the sound of incessantly falling rain as background music, he closed his eyes and thought of her. Only of her. Her voice had registered a slight note of hesitance when she hung up.

Unable to contain himself any longer or out of sheer desire - Danny was not entirely sure which one - he dashed from his apartment and headed for her place.

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><p>As soon as he stood at her door, the anxiety about what was about to take place took form of a giant lump in his throat. He shook his head to clear his mind and attempted to organize a million thoughts before knocking thrice on the aging green wood.<p>

Footsteps approached from the inside. His heart thundered inside his breast with simultaneous tension and nervousness. The door opened slowly, and a face that he had been so badly longing to see stared back at him. But the very second his eyes fell upon hers, nerves immediately turned to a violent ache. Lindsay, who had always been a fairly petite woman with a slight build, had lost all energy. She was even smaller and thinner than before, and deep pain radiated in her flameless chocolate irises. She looked for all the world like a broken doll.

Danny stood firm, although he barely suppressed the ever-present urge to pull her into his chest.

She gasped softly, as if she wasn't expecting to see him there. Fear of his presence swiftly replaced her astonishment, and it froze her blood. Still, when she took notice of a black bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lips, her eyes opened even wider.

"Danny, what happened to your face?" Reaching out, she stopped just before her fingernails touched his face, suddenly remembering what she was going to do. A worried look crossed her lips, and just like that it was gone.

"Can I come in?" he inquired gingerly.

She nodded and moved from the doorway, allowing him to step inside.

Closing the door behind him, he looked around the room where he had visited for the first time in innumerable weeks. A daisy resting in a glass vase on the kitchen counter reminded him of their first night together. He smiled. That was Lindsay's nature; despite her insane work schedule she never failed to adorn a room with simple flowers. Several picture frames sat on the chest near the couch - the same couch where they used to spend countless hours in one another's embrace - holding within them photos of Danny and Lindsay grinning at each other. He could easily imagine them being happy together anywhere in her apartment. It was cozy and warm, just like her. Every time he came here, he felt a sense of comfort. For him, her place was his home.

Only a few minutes had passed since he stood there glancing around the apartment, scanning everything with his watchful gaze. To him though, it felt like an eternity. Gazing back at her, he swallowed hard before he finally broke the ice to put his thoughts into words.

"How are you feeling? Are you okay?" he inquired with genuine concern.

A slightly puzzled expression appeared on her features. "What? What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lindsay, Flack told me everything."

She let out a small "oh" when realization dawned on her.

"He threw me a good punch," he said, offering her an awkward smile.

"...Did Flack?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, he did. But you haven't answered my question. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," she lied, not breaking her stiff expression.

He didn't buy it, but he dared not interrogate her further. Not now.

"Flack wanted why I was hurting the most important woman in my life."

"Danny...I...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for telling our personal information to someone else." she said, voice shaking from the fear that he would lash out at her in tempestuous rage.

Her eyes reflected those of a terrified kitten, and he nodded reassuringly to calm her racing heart.

When she had noticeably relaxed, he inhaled deeply and spoke. "Please don't say that, Lindsay. If there's anyone who needs to apologize, it's me. While I had been feeling sorry for myself and pushing you away, you had kept everything to yourself. I didn't understand anything, nor did I try to see your pain, grief, and loneliness. I was just so consumed with my own self-pity, and I never tried to think of how you were feeling. Even so, you attempted to be there for me, share my pain together, offer me a helping hand. When I asked you to leave me alone, you accepted my wish without complaining about it or even hurling insults at me. You put aside your own feelings and waited for me until I was ready. You believed that I would open up to you, let you in, but all I have done to you was shut you out, refuse your tenderness, make flimsy excuses and tell you lies. And...and, I hurt you in the most awful manner. I made a huge mistake and I abused your trust and love. Lindsay, I...I slept...with...Ri..." Shame would not allow him to finish the sentence, and he hung his head in silence.

Her stomach lurched at the mention of the woman he had had an affair with. "Danny, I know. I knew that already."

"You knew?"

"Danny, I-"

He put his hand up to stop her. "Let me finish. Please. I need to do this right now."

She nodded, encouraging him to continue as he begged her with watery eyes.

"I cannot even begin to imagine a sixteen-year-old girl having to witness her friends die before her very eyes. Besides, the people hadn't let you alone. Some accused you of not attempting to help your friends, some rumored that they might be involved in such a tragedy if they were close to you, and others went so far as to say it could have been you who had murdered your friends because they were unable to find out the culprit for such a long time. They forgot that you were already riddled with enough survivor's guilt, and their cruel words forced you to think that you wouldn't deserve to be happy, would never dream of the future. As time passed such feelings grew increasingly larger, never to vanish from your mind and heart. I didn't realize all this until Flack told me. Sure, I had flown over to Montana and had been there for you when you needed support, yet all I did was sit beside you. I had never thought of what had been hidden behind such a traumatic experience as the one you had to deal with. I had never realized that greater sufferings had started after your friends' murders. But for all that, you trust me, opened up to me, and even loved me. You gave me everything you had, you flooded me with love. I never attempted to understand how much courage you needed to love someone, and because of that I shattered your heart into a million pieces."

He paused momentarily, eyes closed, as more guilt washed over him. Several moments passed before he spoke again.

"I feel ashamed for my selfish acts. Not only that, our baby died because of me," he said, voice tinged with regret. "If I had listened to you when you came over to say that we were going to be parents, our baby would still be alive. I hadn't been there for you when you needed me most. I have forced you to deal with this heartache alone. Lindsay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I know apologizing won't fix anything and no amount of words will comfort you. I would go back and change everything in an instant; I would erase what I have done."

"Danny..." She felt a lump in her throat at his unexpected acknowledgment.

"I have come here to entreat your forgiveness. I might not have that right any more, but please forgive me. I am asking for another chance. Please. I promise that I will never hurt you or push you away again. I vow that I will share every little thing with you from now on, even if it presents a challenge. I want you back. I want to get your trust and love back." With those words on his lips, he fell silent.

She studied him like a scientist would study a lab result. The look in his eyes said it all: he was serious and honest about everything he had just admitted. There was no doubt in her mind that he was deeply regretting what he had done and was utterly ashamed of himself. If she was completely truthful, his blatant honesty was a little surprising. His honesty and sincerity were the only two things she wanted, and he had given them both to her. Everything she had endured in the past couple of weeks fell from her shoulders, and slight relief flooded her heart.

After what seemed like hours of silence and miles separating them, she finally glanced at him. "Danny, thank you for being honest with me. It means a lot."

"Lindsay..."

Her eyes suddenly became hard. "Do you know how painful it is? The previous day you seemed to be a real sweet boyfriend, but the next it was like you completely changed? I wanted to give you space because I understood your agony, but then I realized that I was being betrayed. Every time I see you, I'm always reminded of the image of you and her. I can't forget it. I can't possibly get that image out of my memory."

Her voice fell to a soft whisper, trying her best to hold the tears back. He had to strain his ears to hear what she was saying. "When I said that I had to figure out how to let you go, something inside me was destroyed. I had been in love with you, so when I realized you had cheated on me, I...I wanted to die."

"Lindsay..." Her unexpected confession left him in a daze. Feeling her aching heart in her shaky voice, he was at a loss for words. What the hell had he done to her that she had wished she would have rather died? In spite of himself, tears formed rivulets on his cheeks.

"But I couldn't choose that option because of my baby. All of a sudden, I had to care for someone else. I thought there was nothing left to lose, but thinking I still had my baby gave me hope. I decided to live with them, alone, but even so I lost everything simultaneously. What was left in my heart was only despair...I have been empty since then." Choked sobs rose from her throat, and a few rogue tears made their way down her face.

"Lindsay..." As he had listened to her painful account, his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

She wiped away her tears before straightening herself up. Letting out a deep sigh, she steered herself and said calmly but firmly, "It hurts, Danny. I loved you so much it hurts. I'm sorry, but I can't be in a relationship with you anymore."

He paused in the doorway and turned back at her. She stood silently, watching him leave. Before her emotions even had a chance to take over, she closed the door. At that moment, her tears began to fall heavily.

Gazing at the closed door and hearing her broken sobs through the old wood, the heart-wrenching realization struck Danny: he had just lost the most important thing in his life.

Unbeknownst to them both, this was only the beginning of her agony.

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Feedback is always welcome and more than appreciated.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship.<strong> **Can they get over the past hurt and move on?**

A/N: Aww, wow! Thank you so much to those who read the fourth chapter! And huge thank you to those who left sweet and thoughtful reviews for me!;_** mckenzie, Brinchen86, CTI-Jenn, MesserFamilyFan100, rhymenocerous, Julia, ioanhoratio, afrozenheart412. **_ I can't thank you enough for taking time to read my story and leave your comments for me. You made my heart warm and brought happy tears into my eyes! And special thanks to **_dl-shipper34_** for checking out this chapter before posting.

Here is the fifth chapter for you. This chapter includes characters' death, so please be careful. I hope you enjoy this even just a little.

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><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 5・**

Crushed by previous events, Danny had spent the past few days in a miserable state of mind. He constantly pondered on what he had put her through and all that she had related to him. Simply put, he had no idea how to handle the situation. The more he thought of it, the more that realization struck him: he had lost Lindsay, the one woman he truly loved. The darkness continued to devour him, his mind sinking into a hole from which he could not escape. He attempted to accept the reality of it all, but it was feeble. In his heart he knew he could never really swallow such a harsh fact.

He feverishly wanted to hear her voice, but he had barely gotten in a single word since their break-up on that rainy night. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity passing without them talking, he walked into work with a determined glint in his steel blue eyes. No matter the cost, they were going to speak.

Unfortunately, Lindsay did not have the same idea. She was nowhere to be seen in the lab, and he wondered if she was out in the field. His mind suddenly flashed back to that fateful day in her apartment, and he understood the reason for her absence.

An icy claw gripped his heart as he struggled to push aside the gut-wrenching feeling that something was terribly wrong. He was so consumed in his thoughts that he didn't even hear a knock on the glass door of the office he shared with Lindsay.

"Danny...Danny." The voice brought him back to reality, and he gazed up from his desk.

"Danny!" said Mac, this time a bit louder.

"What? What is it, Mac?" he asked, now noticing his boss standing in the doorway.

"You have a minute? I've got some news."

"Sure. What's up?"

"It's about Lindsay."

Lindsay. Just hearing her name made him wince, and questions immediately started to pour from his mouth. "What happened to her? Is she okay? Don't tell me she's hurt!"

Mac held up a hand in an effort to calm the anxious young man, but his tone told Danny something was indeed wrong. "She's fine. I just need to tell you that she won't be here for a while."

Danny's voice radiated a hint of frustration. "Mac, tell me what's going on."

"I got a call from Bozeman PD this morning. They said her parents died."

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><p>Danny stood a short distance away, staring at her surreptitiously. She was dressed all in black, barely supported by the arms of her three brothers. From his spot under a tree he could see her quite clearly. Lindsay, who was a mere shadow of her former self, was on the edge of falling to pieces. She looked as fragile as a piece of glass, and her sorrow made her normally bright features a dull grey. Her eyes, swollen with tears, reflected the depth of her grief and pain. The mere sight of her tore at his very being.<p>

The funeral service went on with a solemn atmosphere; even the leaden sky was covered with low hanging clouds. Cold air that accompanied early winter added more oppressive atmosphere to the place. Those who were close to Mr. and Mrs. Monroe during their lifetime were now walking away, offering Lindsay and her siblings their condolences.

A while ago - Lindsay wasn't entirely sure the exact length of time - a robbery case had occurred not very far from the Monroe ranch. Two armed men had burst into a grocery store demanding cash, and her parents were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. The owner was shot almost instantly after refusing to give the till to the would-be thiefs. Lindsay's father had made the fatal error of moving in an attempt to help the fallen man, and his heart was pierced by a bullet. Then, out of sheer panic, the masked thief shot a defenseless Mrs. Monroe and fled.

Lindsay, who was informed of her parents' murder through New York Crime Lab via Bozeman PD, left everything else unattended to fly back home in Montana. It was all a horrifying dream from which she could not awaken, and this caused her to sink even further into oblivion.

The entire ceremony passed by smoothly, there was no one left but Lindsay and her brothers. She knelt down by the twin graves and placed a bouquet of roses on the fresh soil, but when she tried to rise her legs turned to jelly and they gave out. Her brothers, however, were right there and aided in helping her stand.

Observing her silently, Danny somehow managed to restrain the immense urge to reveal himself. This was all for naught, though, as one of the Monroe boys saw him and alerted Lindsay of his presence. Their eyes met the second she turned her gaze to him.

Sensing the tension, the brother who had spotted Danny whispered something in Lindsay's ear before nodding to his siblings. The other two men gave Lindsay each a kiss on the cheek before retreating to their car.

Danny realized then that he was holding his breath, and he let it out slowly. After what seemed like an eternity, he was the first to move. With his eyes locked to hers, he slowly walked across the graveyard. He edged closer and closer to her until there was no more distance to close, and then he stopped.

"Lindsay..."

Her hollow eyes reflected nothing other than total despair, and his heart ripped into tiny pieces as he thought about the unimaginable weight of grief weighing down her small frame. He wanted to say something, anything, but what? What could he say that would possibly heal her wounded spirit? A heavy silence lingered in the cold air.

After several minutes he found the courage to speak and whispered softly, "I'm sorry about your parents."

Her beautiful eyelashes fluttered as she nodded silently. "Thank you for coming."

How he wished he could sweep her up in his arms, protect her from such a cruel world, reassure her that everything was going to be alright. "You know I'm here for you."

She nodded, not speaking a single word. Together they walked to the awaiting car, where he helped her get in. She gave him a final gaze, repeated the previous words before closing the door. "Thank you for coming."

He offered her a small smile and closed the door, following the vehicle with his eyes and watching the tail lamp disappear from view.

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Feedback is always welcome and more than appreciated.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship.<strong> **Can they get over the past hurt and move on?**

A/N: Aww! Thank you so much to those who read the fifth chapter! And huge thank you to those who left sweet and favorable reviews for me!;** **afrozenheart412**, ** ioanhoratio**, Julia, Brinchen86, MesserFamilyFan100. ** I can't thank you enough for taking time to read my story and leave your comments for me. You have no idea how many times I have read all of the reviews and every time I read, you made my heart warm. You guys actually made my day. And special thanks to **dl-shipper34 **for checking out this chapter before posting.

**To Julia**: I couldn't thank you personally by private message, but I want to let you know how much I appreciate your constant thoughtful and warm review. Thank you so much for supporting and encouraging me!

Here is the sixth chapter for you. In this chapter Lindsay doesn't appear. I hope you enjoy this even just a little.

* * *

><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 6・**

After checking in at a local hotel, Danny threw his worn-out body onto the bed and closed his eyes. However, before he could relax or get any rest his cell rang. He fished for it in his back pocket and, as he normally did before answering, took a quick glance at the caller ID.

Lindsay.

He pushed the "accept" button with a trembling finger before putting the cell to his ear. "Messer."

* * *

><p>"Thanks for coming." A man whom Danny instantly recognized as Steve Monroe answered the door, accepting his outstretched hand. His voice also confirmed that he was the caller, requesting a face-to-face meeting with Danny at a local diner.<p>

They took their seats directly across from each other. "I'm so sorry about your parents."

Steve offered a small smile of gratitude. "Thank you. It was so sudden that it's hard for us all to believe and accept it, especially for my sister. She's taking it very hard."

Danny nodded. It was clear how much Steve cared for his younger sister, as she was the only girl in the family aside from their mother. He imagined the boys and their father would have been incredibly protective of her. Despite his rough exterior - a strapping build will often do that to a person - Steve possessed the same gentle nature as Lindsay. He was also one of the most discreet people Danny had ever met. After the trial, she had invited him over to her parents' house, where he had met part of the Monroe clan for the first time. Unfortunately he was unable to meet her other two brothers due to business, but Danny had not minded as the parents and Steve had welcomed him with open arms.

For a while the two men sipped quietly on a cup of coffee, not exchanging any words. Danny finally couldn't bear the silence any longer and, placing his cup on the white table, broke the ice. "You mentioned you have something to tell me?"

"Yes. I don't like to beat about the bush, so let's get right to the point." Steve's voice took on a more serious tone, and he looked squarely at Danny. "I hear you two have broken up."

Danny swallowed the lump that had suddenly lodged itself in his throat. "Did she tell you that?"

The other man shook his head. "A couple of days before the murder, my mother gave Lindsay a ring. After hanging up, Mom worryingly told Dad and me that Lindsay had broken up with you."

"I figured."

Steve released a deep sigh, and when he spoke again Danny noticed a slight note of disappointment in his deep voice. "Well then, it was true."

"Well, actually..." Danny started.

"Don't," Steve held up a hand, promptly interrupting his companion. "No need to tell me the entire story."

Danny stared in disbelief, not expecting to receive such an answer.

Steve took note of this and gave a small smirk. "You thought I was going to shoot you?"

"Yeah...honestly, I expected something like that. I was prepared for at least a punch." Danny said sheepishly.

Barely resisting his grin, Steve continued speaking. "Lindsay didn't say anything about it. She just told Mom that she had broken up with you because it hadn't worked out. Mom and Dad seemed to be concerned, but they didn't dare to ask what had happened. It wasn't enough to satisfy my brothers, though, as they tried to find out as soon as she returned home."

_Near the wonder_, Danny thought to himself. _They were probably terrified at the sight of their little sister being so emaciated_.

"Lindsay didn't seem to know how to deal with them, so she didn't say anything. She just blamed herself for not being helpful to you during your rough time. Of course, my brothers didn't buy her story."

Danny was stunned. Why would she blame herself? She fully knew it was his mess to clean. "It's my fault, not hers. I pushed her away even though she just tried to be there for me."

Steve held up a large hand again. "I said you don't need to explain what happened between you and Lindsay. You're not accountable to me for your conduct. Lindsay didn't reveal any details because she loved you so much and didn't want us to worry. Besides, she's not the type to badmouth the man she loved no matter what took place. She can be rather stubborn, although I suppose you already knew that." A mischievous grin crept across his lips.

Danny returned the smile. "As a matter of fact, I do." _Just like her to go and defend me even though I hurt her._

"So," Steve leaned forward and interlocked his fingers. "Why did you come all this way even though you and her are no longer together?"

"I care about her." Danny prevaricated, unsure of whether or not he should mention the word _love_.

"Meaning you didn't give up on her?"

"Uh...no, I didn't and I won't, but..." Danny winced, but Steve's eyes didn't miss it and he frowned.

"But what? What's wrong, Danny? Look, if you aren't serious about her..."

"No, no, no," The word was spilling from Danny's mouth like a leaky faucet; the last thing he wanted was for Steve to misunderstand his feelings for her. "I'm very serious about her. I just...I don't have any idea how to get her back. What if she won't forgive me?"

Lindsay's brother patted his shoulder encouragingly. "No use crying over or regret what has already happened. The important thing is how we should make better use of what we learned from our mistakes from now on. For that, you two need to talk. Discuss every little detail and include both your past and future."

Danny marvelled at his unprejudices, and he nodded respectfully. "I appreciate that, Steve. I really do."

"Right now she can't think straight because one grief after another has swallowed her up, but I'm certain Lindsay knows deep down that she loves you. I think it will take her quite a while to recuperate from everything life has thrown at her, so I'm asking for you to give her space and wait until she will be ready. Don't give up my sister, Danny. Please."

Sitting up a little straighter, Danny took a few deep breaths and looked Steve straight in the eye. "I swear I will wait for her no matter how long it takes, and I won't give up her. Not ever."

Steve nodded, satisfied with his answer. "Good. One last thing I want to make sure of. Do you love my sister?"

"Yes. With my life."

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Feedback is always welcome and more than appreciated.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship.<strong> **Can they get over the past hurt and move on?**

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who read the sixth chapter or set up story alerts! Honestly, I didn't imagine that so many people would read my story and I cannot thank you enough for it. And huge thank you to those who left sweet and favorable reviews for me!;** **MesserFamilyFan100**, RandomTVFan30, **afrozenheart412**, **Miny23**, Brinchen86, Julia, laurzz. **I wish I could thank you face-to-face with many hugs if possible.

**To Julia**: I couldn't thank you personally via private message, but I want to let you know how much I appreciate your constant warm review. I wanted Steve to be the person that would give Danny the respect and comfort he needs even though he ached for his sister. Thank you so much for supporting and encouraging me!

Here is the seventh chapter for you. I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of spelling and grammatical errors, so please forgive me. In this chapter Danny doesn't appear. I hope you enjoy this even just a little.

* * *

><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 7・**

Sitting on the edge of her childhood's bed, Lindsay was deeply lost in her thoughts with her head hung with her hands. A soft knock sounded at the door and she raised her head as she turned her face toward the sound.

The door opened a little from the outside and her oldest brother Steve's face peeped in.

Offering his sister a smile, Steve hopped into her room. "Hey, Baby Girl! How are you feeling?" he said as blithely as possible to cheer her up.

Lindsay felt her pangs and distresses relieved just a little as she heard her oldest brother's jovial tone. She was fully cognizant of his intention that he tried in an desperate attempt to invigorate her, putting aside his own grief for their parents' death. Lindsay worked hardest to recompense his boost. "Yeah, a small nap absolutely helped me feel better," she said offering Steve a wan smile.

Despite her frantic effort not to be a cause for his further concern, her red‐rimmed eyes swollen with tears and dark circles beneath them - no matter how bad she wanted to hide them - revealed that she had apparently cried for too much grief and worn herself to sleep, and it killed Steve deeply.

Steve narrowly suppressed a sigh that inadvertently came near to heaving out of his mouth. "Good to hear that."

"Yeah...Speaking of which, where have you been?" Lindsay questioned staring at her brother, wondering why he went out of the house simply saying that he would be right back shortly after they came back from their parents' funeral.

"Did Jeff or Chris tell you that?" Steve referred to the names of his two younger brothers.

"Yeah, Chris told me that not long after I woke up from a nap."

"Well, I just went to see an old friend of mine because he went out of his way to offer me his condolences for Mom and Dad," Steve lied with pretended nonchalance. He was going to keep it a secret from Lindsay that he used her cell phone to call Danny and went to see him during her nap.

"Uh-huh. I see." Lindsay didn't seem to have the slightest suspicion about what her brother just told her.

After a little moment of thinking, Steve strode off to the bed, sat down next to her and asked her in a soft voice, stroking a gentle hand over his sister's silky-brown hair. "You know what? Is it Danny who appeared at the funeral?"

"Yeah...so what?" Lindsay replied in a shaky tone as she was fully conscious of it. She hadn't expected that her brother would bring up the topic - the most unwelcome one at present. Not wanting to meet his gaze that was undoubtedly seeking hers out, she cast her eyes down at her hands clasped on the laps. She didn't want to talk about Danny. She wasn't psyched up for that talk- not yet.

"That guy flew over here because of too much concern about you? Don't you have to see him before he returns to New York?" Steve asked her as he looked into her from under trying to catch her downcast eyes.

"...Sooner or later, I have to see him at work when I go back to New York, so I don't need to see him right here and now!" Lindsay said in a harsh but shaky tone.

"Lindsay..."

"You know, Steve? I don't want to talk about him because I can't think straight right now. Besides! I broke up with him, so what do I have to talk about him, do you think?"

"I know what you mean, Lindsay. I know well the unexpected violent death of Mom and Dad was even more devastating to you when the severe blow of the split of you two was still raw," Steve reassured her knowingly.

"I feel like there is a hole in my heart, that the unbearable emptiness is driving me mad, Steve. I don't know how much longer I can hold out against being crushed by grief." Her voice gradually became hoarse in tears. "If you know me so well, let me alone. Plea...se..." Choked sobs rose from Lindsay's throat, and the last part of her words was so faint that Steve could barely hear it.

"I miss...Mom and Dad. Thinking how much they regretted having to go into eternity hearing my last voice so depressed in grief, I...I..." Lindsay couldn't hold back something welling up in her eyes any more and she sobbed her heart out.

Letting out a deep sigh, Steve wrapped his arms around her pulling her into his comforting embrace, rubbed her back softly with the palm of his large hand. "I know, I know how much you miss Mom and Dad." Thinking how much agony his sister had to go through so far, Steve could do nothing more than comfort her.

After a few minutes, Steve finally opened his heavy mouth. "I'll tell you what, I don't know why you two have broken up, nor do I want to know the reason. But I want you to know this."

Hearing her brother's soft but firm voice, Lindsay finally glanced up at him.

"If you two go your separate ways, you're going to regret it. I know you _are_. I can see it in your eyes and I don't want you to regret."

Steve's serious eyes seemed to tell Lindsay that he could read her mind. She tried to keep calm on the surface but couldn't hide her agitation inside. "Steve..." She winced but Steve's eyes didn't miss it.

Taking her hand, "Lindsay, look at me," said Steve. "I want you to be honest with yourself. Mom and Dad up above should hope so, too. Listen to the instruction of your heart, and you'll know your true feelings."

Just as she was told by Steve, Lindsay closed her eyes to listen to what her heart would tell herself. Her parents' violent death immediately following Danny's betrayal and her miscarriage had hit her rock bottom of grief and despair, yet not a single day passed by but she remembered him. It was Danny that she remembered no matter how deeply he broke her heart; the time spending together with him, the memories with him, his gentle look and smile toward her. A mere thought of him had comforted her all the time. Before she realized it, he had become such a special person to her that she couldn't let him go or throw such a memory away. How many times had she prayed that her love for him would leave out of her heart as soon as humanly possible - every second counts. She, however, couldn't possibly get Danny off her mind no matter how desperately she tried. Her heart always returned to him. She had a special place for him in her heart.

Lindsay raised her head, eyes now open, the realization suddenly crossing her mind. Her chocolate orbs connected with his sparkling pools of the same hues as her own.

"Get it?" Steve said offering her a reassuring smile.

"Yeah...Got it." A faint smile found its way to Lindsay's face.

A smile lit Steve's face as he detected a small smile on his sister's face. "Good. That's my baby girl!"

"But Steve..." Lindsay winced.

"But what?" Steve encouraged her to carry on in a soft voice.

"...I wonder if I could really forgive Danny. No, that's not exactly what I want to say. The truth is...I don't think I will be able to trust and love someone once again...I mean...with my heart. Besides, what if he has already let me go and moved on after I adamantly turned down his dearest desire for another chance," Lindsay asked her brother insecurely.

Rubbing his sister's cheek softly with the pad of his thumb, "Sure, you can. I'm also sure Danny will be waiting for you. Otherwise, he never flew over to you, don't you think so?" Steve said in a reassuring voice as he was reminded of Danny's firm words and face when he said that he loved Lindsay with his life.

"I don't know, but I hope so," Lindsay said smiling feebly.

"Trust me, sweetie," Steve said firmly. "And as for forgiveness, to forgive can be harder than to love. But love is believing and forgiving at the same time, Lindsay. I think we need a lot more courage to forgive than to love, but we will be able to be gentle with others as much grief as we were through," Steve whispered. "Lindsay, I know you're still through many things, but we also know time heals all wounds. When the time is right, you two need to talk. Discuss every little detail and include both your past and future," he reiterated the very same lines as he offered Danny just a couple of hours earlier.

Feeling her brother's tender touch, Lindsay nodded in understanding.

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Feedback is always welcome and more than appreciated.<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship.<strong> **Can they get over the past hurt and move on?**

A/N: I'm so sorry for taking long time to update this. Thank you so much to everyone who read the seventh chapter or set up story/author alerts! I can't believe so many people read my story and I cannot thank you enough for it. I'm also grateful for every single comment you left to let me know what you think of it. Huge thank you to those who left sweet and favorable reviews for me!;** RandomTVFan30, Miny23, MesserFamilyFan100, Brinchen86, Y. Furu, afrozenheart412, Reese, michan92. **I would like to offer you guys huge hugs.

Here is the eighth chapter for you. I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of spelling and grammatical errors, so please forgive me. I hope you like and enjoy this even just a little.

* * *

><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 8・**

It was her first day of the work at the lab after two weeks' absence due to her parents' funeral and she was greeted with warm hugs and condolences by her colleagues.

"Lindsay! Welcome back! I missed you so much." Stella pulled her into a comforting embrace like an older sister Lindsay had never had. "I'm so sorry about your parents."

"Thank you, Stella. I missed you, too. Good to see you again." Lindsay hugged her back.

"Lindsay, without you the lab was felt dark like a light had gone out," Hawkes said, giving her a big hug.

Lindsay's eyes coming close to brimming with tears, "Thank you, Hawkes," she responded shakily.

"We all have missed you, Lindsay," said Flack, meaning it.

"Don...You have no idea how much I appreciate you." Lindsay felt her tearful voice as she replied.

She realized all over again that this was where she belonged as she felt through their warm hugs and words that her friends were worried about her and glad about her return. Even though she had experienced utmost despair of losing her real family, these people were like her another family. And she couldn't help but be happy that she herself was a part of it.

Danny was staring at Lindsay silently. She looked shattered and zoned out. She looked even paler and thinner than the last time he saw her at her parents' funeral. Her parents' death was shocking and still fresh and new enough for her not to recover from her grief completely; it was no wonder, he guessed. And the way she tried miserably to smile at her friends as she managed to keep a stiff upper lip was painfully admirable though, it killed him.

After a little moment of sharing a reunion, everyone returned to their respective works, leaving Danny and Lindsay alone in the break room. He walked slowly towards her, who was standing insecurely without knowing what to say.

"Lindsay...glad to see you again," he said solemnly.

Glancing up at him, "Glad you too, Danny..." she replied as she offered him a feeble smile.

For him, two weeks without Lindsay felt long like a lifetime and he merely existed. Just like Hawkes said, the lab without her felt cold as if it was a darkened house. It was not too much to say that Lindsay had brought life and a light into this lab along with her transferred from Montana, though he had already felt that way not long after her very first day in New York crime lab. He missed her gentle face, her sweet voice, her bright smile, sparkles of her shining eyes and all; He missed everything about her. He wanted to say more, but nonetheless he didn't want to put further strain on her right now. For now he was only too happy that she was back.

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><p>It has already been a month since Lindsay returned to New York. Today this city was flooded with people celebrating Christmas Eve. Isolated from the hustle and bustle of the streets, the entire staff in New York crime lab was overloaded with cases arising from one minute to the next.<p>

Lindsay seemed to force herself to be buried in work harder and harder with each passing day. She needed to do something to help her take her mind off pains. Danny could understand it, but he wanted to tell her that she didn't have to force herself to maintain a stoic facade. It was heartrending for him to see that she was hard on herself.

Adam, who stood beside Danny checking the evidences at the latest cases at the lab, said abruptly remembering something. "Speaking of which, I happened to see Lindsay after the shift yesterday. She seemed to get a boyfriend."

The casual words pouring out of Adam's mouth froze Danny. Adam, who didn't know at all Lindsay had been in a relationship with Danny, was chatting in an annoyingly laid-back tone.

Danny was so much shocked that "A boyfriend...?" was the most he could get out of his mouth.

"Yeah, she was walking with a tall handsome guy. They looked so close and happy. I think I haven't seen her smile happily like that for so long. I felt relieved she is feeling better."

"Huh? Yeah, yeah, she is," replied Danny absent-minded.

_Lindsay got a boyfriend? They looked so close and happy?_

The news Adam brought up came to Danny as a bolt from the blue. Come to think of it, it was no wonder that Lindsay was seeing someone after their breakdown. It may sound selfish though, he held on to hope in the back of his mind: Hope for a potential new start. Like he had promised Steve, Danny made a decision to wait for the right time he did everything in his power to fight for her until her grief and pain healed no matter how long it would take. But just the thought of her potentially being with another man but him was stuck in his mind, made him unable to think straight, blowing his decision off out of his mind.

His mind a million miles away during the rest of the day, he could hardly concentrate on his work.

* * *

><p>Danny took a deep breath to suppress his nervousness before lifting his fist up to knock on the aging green wood. The veins of his fist were pulsing violently as if his heart was in there. Finally working up the nerves, with a clenched hand, he knocked thrice and waited for Lindsay to answer her door, but there was no answer. Glancing at his watch, it was close to 9 p.m.<p>

She should have been home hours ago, her shift had finished long before his. Danny knocked again. Then again. But each time came the same consequence.

_Where is she and what is she doing at this late hour?_

He intruded himself on her without so much as making sure she was back, only to find her absence, which sank him down to the floor in a daze. _What am I going to do?_ He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face.

Checking his watch, he noticed two more hours had already passed since he checked it the last time, and that it was almost midnight. He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose nervously. That's when he heard some footsteps and a man and a woman chatting merrily coming from the direction of the elevator. His head shot up and his stomach knotted painfully as he witnessed the man's fingertips touch Lindsay's cheek, stroke it tenderly and just like that he hugged her. Then Danny's eyes met those of her and of a tall, good-looking but unfamiliar man standing in front of him.

Lindsay looked at Danny with her wide startled eyes for a moment before she managed to compose herself.

"I had a great time tonight, Kyle. Thank you," she said with her breath caught in her throat and the man didn't miss it.

"Lindsay, you alright?" the man questioned worriedly.

She offered Kyle a weak smile. "Yeah...I'm fine," she nodded him.

"Linds, he is the said...?"

Looking her nodding, Kyle gave her a nod back.

"I got it. Well, rest well and sleep tight, right? And Merry Christmas, Linds." Reaching out to take hold of her hand, the man gave it a squeeze before he cast a glance at Danny and walked down the hall towards the elevator.

Lindsay watched Kyle walk away round the corner and disappear. Then she turned around to face Danny.

"Danny, what are you doing here?"

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading! Feedback is always welcome and more than appreciated - would you <strong>let me know?<strong>  
><strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship.<strong> **Can they get over the past hurt and move on?**

A/N: Hi, everyone! Thank you so much to everyone who read the eighth chapter or set up story/author alerts! I'm so happy that so many people read my story and for that I cannot thank you enough. I'm also grateful for every single comment you left to let me know what you think of it. Huge thank you to those who left sweet and favorable reviews for me!;** **MesserFamilyFan100,** Csifan326, maggie, RandomTVFan30, Y. Furu, **Brinchen86,** afrozenheart412, Reese. **I would like to offer you guys huge hugs.

Here is the ninth chapter for you and the next chapter is supposed to be the last one. I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of spelling and grammatical errors, so please forgive me. I hope you like and enjoy this even just a little.

* * *

><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 9・**

Lindsay took out her keys and opened her door before letting Danny come into her apartment, and she remained silent throughout it as she did so. Danny marched himself inside, towards the living room while she closed the door behind her. His heart was hammering with nervousness as if it was going to come out of his mouth while he was waiting for her to step in front of him. He felt almost overwhelmed to death by oppressive and strained atmosphere in the room.

Watching him silently, Lindsay just waited until Danny revealed to her the reason for his presence. He looked miserable and dejected, though she had no idea where it was coming from. The gesture that he'd been reiterating fidgeting with his glasses - as was usual with him when he was lacking in mental stability - also told her that he was extremely uneasy and tense.

Danny stared at Lindsay for a couple of seconds, and then released a deep breath to ready himself before he finally broke the heavy and awkward silence between the two of them.

"...Are you seeing that guy?" Danny asked remembering the man he had just seen, who fitted perfectly the characteristics of the one Adam had mentioned.

"It's none of your business," she spat out as she gathered her brows into a frown.

"Yes, it's definitely my business!" he raised his voice unintentionally, quickly regretting it.

"Why?" she asked quietly, giving Danny a pointed look through her eyelashes.

"Because..." He opened his mouth but the words dissolved on his tongue.

"Because what? You know what, Danny. You and me, it's done. So, it's actually no business of yours whoever I'm with," she said, swallowing a fresh wave of resentment rising within her.

"I know that. I know I have no right to complain, but..." His voice trailed off.

"But what?"

"...I hate," he said nervously while running a hand through his hair.

She lifted her eyebrows quizzically. "Huh? Hate what?" she asked.

"I hate you being with another man but me!"

Finally he released what he was really thinking. Yes, that was what he meant. The moment he was heard from Adam that she might be seeing someone, he felt like he was going crazy. It was an inexplicable intense feeling that he himself had never felt before. Now the intense feeling showed its true colors. It was uncontrollable acute jealousy that drove him crazy.

When he edged closer to her reaching out to touch her cheeks, she shoved him away. "Don't touch me!" She felt the bubble of anger well inside her.

She looked at him incredulously, her arms folded across her chest feelings of the rage burn her chest until it became almost overwhelming. "Don't be so selfish! You slept with that woman while being together with me, but you hate me being together with another man! How dare you say such a selfish thing to me? Plus, I'm not seeing another man while being together with you!" She finally unleashed her indignation on him.

"I know how selfish I am, but this is my true feeling. I can't bear other men but me touching you! A mere thought of it drives me nuts. You said you didn't want me to reduce you to some shallow, clingy girlfriend, right? But I don't care I'm reduced to a shallow, clingy guy. I know well I have no right to say anything to you after I ripped your heart out. I dare say I have to watch you move on, but I can't. I can't possibly give up you. I didn't realize how much you mattered to me until I lost you. I have been thinking and thinking what I should do to get you back, but I could find no ways. It was then I heard you might get a boyfriend, and at that very moment my mind stopped. My heart was going crazy and I couldn't maintain my equilibrium even during the work. I lost control of myself too thoroughly to know I was already here."

"Then, why did you choose to turn to that woman for comfort? Wasn't I good enough for you? Why could you have touched her! Do you know how unwanted, unloved, and useless I felt." She had to admit opposition between two simultaneous but incompatible feelings: a part of her was glad with his jealousy and the other part of her was mad at his selfishness. Yet, she also had to admit that she was beside herself with jealousy when she realized he had touched other woman but her.

"Because...because I was spineless, a yellow gutless worm. I was too selfish to care for anything but myself. I have committed a horrible faux pas out of sheer desire to remove my own pains, grief, and guilt, only to find that I was temporarily burying my guilt into meaningless, stupid, and destructive act. I should have known better that pity party would mean nothing, beget nothing. Actually, what was left in my mind was all regret, vanity, and another but more amount of guilt of breaking your heart. There was nothing left other than that. I should have come to you, shared everything with you. All I needed was you, yet I didn't realize it until I lost you. I think if I had put myself in your shoes, I should have been wracked with jealousy. I know I did." He took a deep breath before he carried on.

"From the very moment you came into my life, my heart was yours. You're mine, and I'm yours, there was no other way to put it. I was an absolute jerk not to realize such a simple thing. I really was. For me you cannot be replaced, Lindsay. Compared as losing you, opening up to you and letting you in was far from scaring. There was nothing to be scared of other than losing you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for treating you in a way that made you feel unwanted, unloved, and useless."

It was then. What her brother Steve had told her came across her mind abruptly.

_"Be honest with yourself, Lindsay. Listen to the instruction of your heart. Love is believing and forgiving at the same time."_

She felt something hot welling up from inside. She pressed her lips together as a desperate attempt to stop the tears that threatened to fall. But she couldn't fight back the tears any more. After a single tear slipped down her cheek, the floodgates finally opened and all the pain and hurt that she'd kept bottled up inside for long poured out of her in a tidal wave.

He reached out to swipe away her tears with the pad of his thumb, making sure she no longer flinched away from him, till at last his fingertips touched her cheek. Cupping her cheeks, he whispered, "Lindsay...I'm sorry for putting you through all the pains and grief. I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me most."

He pulled her into a tight embrace, when a few tears slipped down his own cheeks. Holding Lindsay sobbing her heart out tightly, he felt she had gotten incredibly thinner; she had been through more than enough alone in such a short time. All alone. Drawing her comfortingly against his chest, he said, with a hint of desperation in his voice, his hands rubbing her back soothingly. "You're my everything; my heart, my love, my life. Lindsay, I can't exist without you. Without you I have no reason to live my life. Give me another chance, only one more chance. Please." Inhaling her scent, he pressed her harder against his chest, not wanting to let go of her again.

She wanted to say 'Yes', but she couldn't, because tear after tear cascaded down her cheeks. Instead, she kept nodding over and over with her head buried on his chest.

"...Are you sure?" He couldn't help but make sure what her nod meant. He had to remind himself that this was actually happening, that it wasn't a dream. This was for real.

Glancing up at him, "To be honest, I don't know how many times I wanted to rip your heart out like you had done to me. I tried to let you go, wanted to hate you, but..." she hesitated for a moment what to say.

He nodded to encourage her to carry on.

"But...I couldn't ever let you go. I could never hate you, Danny, so... I'm positive," she said with her eyes glittering with tears. Now she was fully in tears but he detected a warm sparkle brimmed in there.

He saw it in her eyes. In those beautiful brown eyes he could see her anger, grief and pain replaced with full of love for him once always there. Previous anger had vanished out of her eyes, instead warm sparkle was brimmed in there. It was - in spades - a sparkle of profound love for him she had never been able to bury deep inside or get out of her heart.

"God Lindsay! I don't know what to say...It doesn't get any better than this. It means a lot to me." Feeling the relief sweep through him, he looked up at the ceiling for a moment, then he turned his eyes back to her. "I gotta tell you this. Will you listen to me?" his voice sounded serious.

She nodded silently.

"I know an apology isn't enough and won't immediately absolve what I forced you through. I also know it's not going to be that easy to go back to what we used to be. I'm not going to put what I have done to you behind as if nothing had happened between us. I'm prepared it will take a long time to get your trust and love back. I think all the pains I put you through will linger in your heart for a long while, or maybe for the rest of your life, so whenever the pains spring up in your heart, nag at me, yell at me, hit me, throw things at me or do whatever you want. I will accept everything you take it out on me. Anything, anytime. And I swear to God I won't ever hurt you again. Never. I'll always open my heart fully to you. I want you to come into my heart whenever you want. I'll show my heart all the time. I'll give you all of me," he whole-heartedly accentuated every single word he uttered; he meant it.

"Danny..." His words brought more tears to her eyes, made her speechless. Several moments passed before she spoke again. "I won't lie to you, Danny. For the record, I can't keep pretending that it doesn't hurt. It _still_ hurts. I loved you so much it _really_ hurts. I won't deny it will take me long to get over and put everything that has happened to me behind. But for all that, I want to trust and love you once more, with my heart. I _really_ do. And for that, I _do_ need your help. Will you willingly help me out of all my woes so that I can stand firmly on my own feet again? Do you think you can do this for me?" she inquired looking Danny straight in the eyes.

Danny nodded as he swallowed and digested every single word she spoke. He was more surprised and even more shocked than relieved at her open-and-honest feelings which she revealed for the first time in countless months as he listened to her. He realized she was not saying this just because he wanted her - but because she _herself_ wanted him, wanted to live her life again. He couldn't help but adore and appreciate her inner fortitude and determination.

"I'll do everything in my power for you, Lindsay. I _do_ mean it. I'll spend every day, every hour, or even every minute of my life proving how much you mean to me. I wanna be the guy to deserve you. I wanna be able to look you in the eye all the time," he said with a determined glint in his steel blue eyes.

"Thank you..." she said, feeling that he was serious about his words. She wanted to believe him.

They clung desperately to each other. She shivered as she felt his hot breath on her ear. She never forgot how his fingertips touched softly her, his strong yet gentle arms wrapped warmly around her. There was nowhere else she would rather be other than in his arms. She could feel her heart beating again and herself be alive for the first time in a long time. They stayed like that for a moment deeply intoxicated in each other's warmth to make sure of it.

After a few moment he whispered in her hair, "Lindsay...you may not remember this, but I have something to ask you."

"...Yeah?" she asked with her face buried in his chest.

"Well, I was wondering if that guy is special to you."

"Mhmmm..." she murmured into his chest.

"...Lindsay? Are you still with me?"

"I'm listening. What gave you that idea?"

"People usually spend Christmas with someone special. Also, he called you _Linds_..." Danny said as he managed to swallow his subsequent words that were on the edge of spilling from his mouth: _that guy treated you with too irritating familiarity._

"It's true he is special to me, but not the way you think."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...are you jealous?"

"As a matter of fact, I am," he remarked honestly.

Glancing up at him, she cocked her head to one side and considered for a moment before answering. "Well, I have an idea of leaving you jealous for a while. What about that?" she said with a hint of flirting with her idea, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. It was small but it was actually there.

Danny grimaced just a little. "You teasing me?"

The half smile got a little broader. "Maybe...a little?"

"Hey! I'm serious! And you're not answering my question," he resorted her with an exaggerated pout.

She made a desperate effort to suppress her laughter at the sight of his almost childish reactions. "There's nothing you worry about."

"But..." his voice trailed off.

"His name's Kyle...Monroe."

"Oh no! Is he...?"

"Yeah, if my memory serves me correctly, he is uncle Freddy's son, actually my brother cousin," she said, offering him a reassuring smile.

"God! You scared me to death, Lindsay!" he breathed a sigh of relief and then they both smiled at each other.

As they broke apart, he rested his forehead on hers, looked deep into her eyes, all the seriousness back in his face. "Until now I didn't see why I live, but I realize at last that I live to meet you. I love you, Lindsay. Only you," he whispered.

She didn't say that she loved him. Instead she nodded silently glittering her eyes filled with tears.

It was getting close to midnight and the city of New York was going to greet the day of Christmas. There was nothing special; no Christmas tree, no gifts, no dinner whatsoever, yet neither of them cared. What mattered to them was that they had each other. There was nothing else they wanted.

The holy night wearing on calmly and silently, they were just deeply got lost in happiness of each other's company fully and appreciatively.

_To be continued..._

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><p><strong>Feedback is always welcome and more than appreciated <strong>- would you <strong>let me know?<strong>**  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: Over the Grief**  
><strong>Author: Daisy<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: DannyLindsay**  
><strong>Content Warning: DramaRomance**  
><strong>Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship. Can they get over the past hurt and move on?<strong>

A/N 1: Hi, everyone! Many apologies for the extremely late update. I meant to post this earlier, but to be totally honest I just didn't have the energy, because my life was too hectic last year. But finally I settled down to relax after my twin boys graduated from high school in March and moved to Tokyo so that they could start their new lives and ventures at college. Anyway, I have decided to end this story, even though I don't know if there is someone who still is interested in this story.

Thank you so much to everyone who read the ninth chapter or set up story/author alerts! I'm so happy that so many people read my story and for that I cannot thank you enough. I'm also grateful for every single comment you left to let me know what you think of it. Huge thank you to those who left sweet and favorable reviews for me!;** **MesserFamilyFan100,** Csifan326, maggie, RandomTVFan30, Y. Furu, **Brinchen86,** afrozenheart412, Reese. **I would like to offer you guys huge hugs. And special thanks to **Y. Furu** and **Reese**, who kicked my ass to write and post the last chapter! :D

Here is the last chapter for you. I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of spelling and grammatical errors. All mistakes are mine. I hope you like and enjoy this even just a little.

* * *

><p><strong>-Over the Grief-<strong>

**・Chapter 10・**

Not a single day passed but Danny and Lindsay spent time together - even if it was only a little. They couldn't just be separated from each other. They didn't care even if they just sat on the couch, cooked together in each other's apartment, or took a short stroll in Central Park due to their tight working schedule. What mattered was that they were together. When they had days off though, he took her out on a date to various places he thought she would be pleased. For both of them, however, it was no longer just a time for having fun. Far from it, it was a time for enhancing and deepening their understanding and love for each other. They both wished for deeper and more profound understanding, trust and love.

Looking back their relationship before Ruben died, they found it had been fragile and, as it were, a cushion full of seams coming apart easily and with the boy's death as a trigger, their relationship had come very close to unravel at the seams completely. Now that he had experienced the fear of losing Lindsay once, Danny didn't ever want to go through that fear again. He wouldn't absolutely be the cause that would break her heart again. For that, true to his promise, Danny didn't have any hesitation to show Lindsay his heart, body and soul was only hers by opening up completely to her, sharing every little thing with her, which opened his eyes to a lot of stuff that he'd been blind to before then. They spent talking about anything they could have missed during the time they spent apart, let alone about their childhood, their family, their lives before they met and as a result of that, they learned about the internal psyche of each other: it was a precious, invaluable and soulful level of intimacy. He wasn't also hesitant to show his affection for her in public, which startled everyone who knew him. The two were occasionally seen exchanging light kisses in their shared office or the locker room, leaving the lab hand in hand after their shift. There was nothing but smiles and happiness radiating from the two.

It took Danny two weeks to be allowed to kiss Lindsay since they gave another shot. He sensed she always had a little fear about giving him everything, so he wasn't going to press her to jump into bed anytime soon. Of course, he couldn't deny that he longed for closeness and intimacy with her physically as well as mentally. There was still a lot of things Lindsay needed to work through though, and Danny would be there for her. He would rack his brain over to develop their relationships at her pace, in this new open-and-honest relationship. He would wait until she was on the same page no matter how long it would take. She was more than worth it.

For her part, slowly, just so slowly, with the help of Danny - Lindsay brought back her brightness once she had carried. He did everything in his power to help her stimulate her appetite and recover physical strength and she didn't refuse his help no matter how hard it was. Still, there was a time she occasionally worried that he might shut her out and even walk away from her at a moment's notice, but she gradually learned a greater faith in their stable, fixed and firm relationship. There was a time Lindsay was staring at a distance sadly once in a while, when all the grief and pains seemed to come flooding back to her. He knew she was harboring all the grief and pains in her chest; his betrayal, having lost their baby, her parents' death. At such a time as this, he just sat next to her, held her in a tight embrace as her body shook with sobs until she turned to look at him a small, sad smile playing on her lips. There were also countless nights she tossed and turned, unable to fully rest, when she seemed to have a nightmare. During those nights, he comforted her telling that it was going to be fine, wrapping his arms around her tightly, stroking her hair gently - until she woke up fully from the nightmares.

Another six months passed. Capable of believing Danny was always honest with her and willing to share everything with her, Lindsay culminated in a complete faith in him. Now that she was convinced of his unwavering love for her - both in his words and in his behavior - there were no fears, doubts and insecurities inside her.

"Make love to me, Danny," she whispered. Her voice was so soft and sincere that Danny could feel tears well in his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he whispered with a shaky tone and she nodded firmly in return feeling herself trusting in him beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"I love you, Lindsay."

"I love you too, Danny."

Hearing her saying love for him for the first time since they got back together, Danny realized he finally got her love and trust back. He cupped her cheeks softly between his hands and stared at her with intense loving eyes for an eternal long moment before he finally leaned down to kiss her deeply as he gently laid her back down on the bed.

And for the first time in a hell of a long time, they gave everything to each other. They filled them with each other exchanging gentle kisses, hot breaths and passionate words instinct with love without a pause. They took in every inch of each other, which made them unable to get enough, want more and more. The endless intense sensation of pleasure that they could finally reconnect physically as well as mentally spread all over both of their bodies, the dazzling waves of ecstasy washing them away over and over, till at last they melted into one, their soul soared higher and higher on cloud nine.

* * *

><p>Closing his eyes Danny lay on his back for a while allowing himself to bask in the sensation that lingered on after exchanging of their love. Just remembering how she had reacted to his touching, kisses, Danny felt marvelously massive warmth spreading through his body. Opening his eyes slowly, he shifted his gaze to the beloved woman sleeping in his arms, breathing softly, a soft smile finding its way to his lips. Moonlight pouring through the window illuminated her serene features and Lindsay looked incredibly beautiful. He instinctively brushed his fingertips onto her cheek gently and affectionately, who was sleeping so peacefully, a sweet satisfied smile gracing her lips.<p>

"Thank you..._MY_ Lindsay," he whispered in her ear in a tearful voice with too much happiness appreciating her strength of love that she had chosen to come back to him with strenuous efforts before he captured her lips one more time and pulled her tightly into his body.

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><p><strong>＜BACK TO THE PRESENT＞<strong>

He was staring at her, not finding any words to speak to her.

Lindsay was looking down at the rainy view out the window with her back leaning against the kitchen wall of their apartment. Their apartment; they hunted for a new apartment and moved in this place a month after their first love-making. The day he realized his love for her and at the same time he lost her. If someone heard this, they might laugh it off, but Danny had been thinking of his future with her since that day: moving in a new apartment together, marrying her, having their kids. And they had already taken the first step.

Lindsay seemed to be deep lost in thoughts without noticing him. Though her expression on the face wasn't to be seen from the place he was standing, it was obvious that she had something on her mind. Danny wanted to rush to her and ask her what was bothering her even though she radiated an air that made him hold back. He had to find it out.

A pair of large arms came around her waist from behind, pulling her close. "Hey, babe... I thought I'd find you here, is this your new spot?" He inquired her in a soft tone.

" Did I have an old one?" Lindsay asked him back.

" Yes, you did." Danny replied as he pulled her more closely into his chest. "Right here."

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she felt his warmth flowing into her body through his chest.

"Couldn't you sleep?" he whispered, planting a lingering kiss on her shoulder.

"Yeah..." she replied, feeling shivers running down her spine at his gentle kisses.

"You're trembling, Linds. Are you cold?" Danny asked worriedly his arms rubbing up and down her arms trying to warm her up.

A delicate blush rose to the apples of her cheeks, "No, it's not that. Danny...Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, lack of warmth in the bed woke me up," he said warmly, even more playfully.

"You missed me?" she asked.

Looking at her tantalizingly sexy and bewitching smile reflected in the window, Danny felt his heart skip a beat. Blushing a little, he itched the tip of his nose with his fingertip. "Yeah, I missed you...so badly, love," he whispered into her ear, his hot breath mixed with sweet but sincere voice of calling her 'love' made her heart overflowed with warmth.

A moment later all the more seriousness in his voice, Danny asked her gently, "What were you thinking about?"

Without replying to his question with her gaze out the window, Lindsay leaned her back against his chest.

"Lindsay...?" he asked worriedly resting his chin on her head.

After moments of silence she finally spoke, "A rainy night like this reminds me of the one I was taking a rain walk."

"...You regret?" asked he in a worried voice, bringing her in more closely to him.

Lindsay shook her head slightly, "No. It's not that. I...I mean I'm just a little mushy."

Grabbing her shoulders gently, Danny turned her around to face him. He put two fingers under her chin and made her look him right in the eyes. "Lindsay...are you happy?" he asked gently.

"Of course, I am! Why couldn't I be happier that I have you?"

His deep blue eyes were met with a pair of brown eyes and a smiling face.

His fear receding, Danny found a relief back to himself. "I'm glad to hear that," he said.

Her eyes staring at him had no hesitation and regret, her face was radiant beautifully with happiness. There was only love and trust for him in there. Once more he was reminded of what a beautiful woman he was going to share the rest of his life with.

"Lindsay, you're beautiful."

Danny was certainly feeling a massive surge of affection for her from inside himself. He could say for sure that it could grow even bigger with each passing day but never perish for the rest of his life and would love her to the last drop of his blood. He himself was happier than he ever thought he could be.

"I love you," he said putting a hand on her cheek, his fingers caressing her cheek as he brushed her hairs away. He leaned down to kiss her softly, her mouth opened to welcome him willingly. The kiss was so soft and loving that they got lost in each other for a dazzling intense long moment.

Finally a moment coming when they broke apart, he held her tightly from behind once more, they silently looked at the rainy view out the window. After another silence, Danny opened his mouth once more. "...After tomorrow, we'll visit your parents."

_(FLASHBACK)_

_On the following day he talked to her oldest brother during his second visit to Montana. He made a stop at her parents' grave along the way instead of heading directly for the airport so that he would board on the plane for New York. Kneeling down beside the twin gravestones and place a bouquet of roses on the fresh soil, he started to talk bit by bit to her parents, lowering his head deeply.  
><em>

_"Mr. and Mrs. Monroe, I know you two don't want to see my face. I'm sure both of you hoped she lived happily with me, but despite your wish, I...I've broken her heart into thousand pieces. Thinking how deeply your hearts ached for her, you had to leave your beloved daughter hurt brutally behind with painful reluctance, __how much you regretted having gone into eternity hearing her last voice so depressed in grief, I can't find enough words to make an apology. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything; the grief, the pain, hurt I've caused her. I will do anything I can make it up for her for the rest of my life. You might turn it down, but...give me a chance to show her how much she means to me. I love her with my life."_

_After quite a long time, he finally raised his head and paid his last respects to her parents before leaving._

_"I swear to you two the next time I visit you, I will never fail to take her with shining smile."_

_(END FLASHBACK)_

"Will you go with me?" Lindsay asked.

"Of course." Danny responded without hesitation. " Like I told you before, I promised your parents. By the time we visit them, I have made you happy."

"Thank you, Danny."

"That's my words. Thank you for giving me a chance to show you how much I love you. Thank you for giving me the future with you."

First he placed a tiny kiss on the proof of his love for her shining happily on the finger of her left hand, then shifted his mouth to her lips, where he planted a gentle kiss before deepening it.

The drenching rain let up as thunders heard rolling in the distance had faded away before they knew it. With the arch of the rainbow over the sky, dawn broke when the sound of birds chirping pronounced the world beginning to awaken. The first rays of the sun pouring through the window lit up their faces standing by the window, a good omen after such a rainy night.

Over the pain, they found the light at the end of the tunnel.

Over all the grief, they found 'home', a place their hearts return in each other, their future in each other. Now that they have just launched out into the sea of life, there was no knowing what was awaiting them ahead the journey, but no matter how rocky and rough it would be, with a strength of love, they would get over it. Together.

Today they are going to start a new chapter of their life, together, he brought up and gained her willing consent two weeks after they moved in here.

Today, Lindsay Monroe will accept her new name Danny Messer yearned her to make the change permanent: Lindsay Messer.

***The end***

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><p><strong>AN 2: I want to thank each and every one of you for your support and reviews. Your encouragement and support are greatly appreciated, and I cannot thank you enough for reading this story. I have had a wonderful time writing it, and I hope you have had a wonderful time reading it. There is a possibility I will post one more story about Danny's marriage proposal to Lindsay that happened in this story, so keep an eye out for any that may pop up.**

**Until then, bye!**

**Daisy**


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